Well, I’m back. I was gone because this last year felt like
a blur and I’m in the process of untangling and I’ll probably tell you about it
soon.
But let’s start with today.
Back story: I’m graduating college this week.
Present story: I thought I’d go on a reflective walk and wander
down new streets. The reflecting thing wasn’t really happening a whole lot, but
I was having a great time looking at the beautiful houses and thinking about owning
a dog as soon as possible. Then I came to this street crossing that was like a six-way
stop. After thinking pretty hard, I picked one. And per usual, I regretted
it a hot second because it led me up a gigantic hill and my asthma was kicking
in.
I headed farther and farther into this neighborhood until all of the sudden,
the houses just stopped. Right there was
this huge, beautiful field with overgrown patches of clover and a tree here and
there. The sun was setting behind it, and it felt like peace and beauty and good
things. I looked down at my feet, and lo and behold there was a wide path that
led straight through it. Bless it all, it was meant to be. I figured it was a
little park or something and I silently thanked my favorite city for doing that for me. I followed
the path a little ways but not far because it went straight back and
disappeared in a bunch of trees and it looked kinda scary. So I went for this lone
tree right in the middle and I sat down.
Problem one, the ground was wet. My pants were a nice light
grey and unfortunately they did not stay that way. Anyway, I sat down and after
a couple seconds of wincing over the thought that I was going to have to walk a
long way home with dirt stains on my back end, I surveyed my new spot. I was on
a hill and I couldn’t really see much, but it was beautiful.
I’m sitting there, thinking about this spot in life and
praying and talking to myself. Out loud mostly. And I stared a good bit at the
sun setting, thinking how perfect it was. Then it happens. I see an SUV. And
they are slowing down to a snail’s pace. A little creepy, but that could be normal. Then
they do it, they turn right straight towards me. I squinted at the path that
now looked a little wider than I originally thought, and looked back at the
part that was shrouded by trees. My heart went to my toes. Behind the trees, I
finally make out the shape of a stupid, dumb, HOUSE.
I was sitting in someone’s front yard.
It was not an open field. It was not a park. It was an
overly large and massively deceptive front yard.
Thoughts:
#1. They desperately need a lawn mower.
#2. Chances of them not seeing me? None, they are now a foot
away.
#3. Pretend not to see them or wave?
So there I sat, awkwardly making eye contact with an SUV
full of four girls who are literally driving within feet of me and they look torn between confusion, concern, and laughing at
me. They didn’t seem terribly upset so I went with the waving, and silently
prayed they would stop so I could apologize and explain that I thought it was a
public field. Then I changed my mind and prayed they’d just keep going.
They did and the minute they were behind me, I stood up and
walked quickly back to the road and I laughed the whole way home. I made no new
friends, I barely processed things, and my pants got wet. But I really enjoyed the
first five minutes by the tree.
Things aren’t going the way I planned.
I’m lost and it’s okay. Life feels weird and
really hard, and that’s okay too. Sometimes the five minutes by the tree is all you need and
the rest you can just laugh at until you find home again.
Lesson: Beware of wide paths. It's probably a driveway.
