Only here and now.

I just realized, as in right now, how future-driven I am.

I mean, I know I daydream a lot. I know I’m constantly thinking of what’s next. But never like this moment have I realized how not-present I am. I’ve never experienced such a conviction over it and such a desire to change it.

I realized while I was showering that my thoughts immediately go to what my to-do list is. Then I think about the what-ifs and the big what’s like the summer, next semester, getting married, on and on and on.... (that's not to imply I plan on getting married next semester, whew, not even close)

You know what? I think I’d like to live in the now.

Dear You. The one right now.

Oh my dear. Your thoughts go so fast. Why? Are you really so disappointed with your life at present? It is so hard to think about ONLY right now. I think that some of your disappointment over right now would fade if you truly dwelt on these moments because you would see you make yourself discontent waiting, impatiently or patiently, for the future. Everything you do is future driven. Live in the now. The now choices will take care of the future, and you can do it without worry. Your Father, your Savior has called you to a fearless life. Not because He’s mean and wants to see you struggle so hard with that thing you want to cling to because it’s the natural, sinful, human response. He called you to a fearless life because he wants to see you maximizing the moment right now. He called you to a fearless life because He loves you that insanely much. He’s not distant. Get rid of your feelings of being far sweet child, He’s right here. Waiting for you. Waiting for you to join Him. Breathe easy, everything is going to work out according to His glory. Everything will come to pass with or without your fear. Why not enjoy this moment? Why not realize you don’t always have to picture the future? Why not live right now. Not when you’re hypothetically married, not when you’re hypothetically dating, not when you’re hypothetically out of college, not when you hypothetically own a dog. Now. There is a deep, desperate part of you that has been screaming this for so long. That part wants you to know it’s okay and that soul is so glad you finally were still enough to hear it. Peace is here. Not coming, here. Here for the taking. Soak it in, right now. Rest in the peace that right now is good enough. Rest in the peace that yesterday is gone and tomorrow will bring a new day to think about then and only then. There will always be things in the future, be excited, but don’t be consumed.

I think if I could hear God's words for this moment, He'd tell me something like this...

“Think about Me now. I am so much greater than the things you are waiting for. I am holding out Peace to you. It is my banner of love. It is my banner of joy. Waving right now. You, my daughter, are my chosen precious child and I only want the best. I have written tomorrow, I have taken care of it so you can rest and enjoy right now. So you can be used to the fullest in the moment you are living. Oh child, you are mine. Oh child, you are so loved. I am pursuing you. I am strengthening you. I am here. Right now. Please, don’t leave to worry about the things to come. Oh joy, my daughter. I have called you to a life of joy. I have called you to the fearless life. You have a gift. You have a passion. And it's for right now."

~Your Heavenly Father. Your Savior. Your King. Your Rescue. The One who calls you Beloved. The Creator of your story. The Writer of your days. The Peace in every moment. The Author of now.